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A mom's dilemma

 

My thoughts come back quite often to my life's work.  

My days seem to be full with activities, appointments, play time, homework, culinary pursuits, dishes and laundry, and other such responsibilities that list under the job descriptions of Full-Time Mom to a Toddler and Mistress to an Urban Household.  And then there is the time I spend on spiritual renewal during "alone" times (nap time and when my girl is at preschool).  This humble spirit renews itself through reading novels, magazines and wikipedia, watching re-runs of Sex in the City, blogging, reading cookbooks, and on special occasions staring at the lovely California sky sitting in a cafe or on my balcony.    There is also the investment of time into good friendships and keeping in touch with my family in Vancouver and abroad.  Then there is my the deep religious belief that the hours between eight p.m. to six a.m. are sacred, and should only be devoted to fun and restful activities.

So, when thoughts about my life's work and pursuits flood my mind, I often find a nagging list of items either perpetually undone or at best done with horrible irregularity.  Things like one hour of daily cardio, daily stretching and ab strengthening exercises, and starting a business from home.

I am an accountant by profession, did you know?  And I have taken inventory of all the hours I have and I know that it can be done.  I see other full-time moms with more little ones than I have doing all this and more.  Except I can't quite figure out how.

I have enlisted the expertise of Mr. Urban (aka Mr. Smartypants) on more than one occasion to audit the situation and figure out why I am always in the red.  He has sent back a few reports, all concluding the same thing: "Devote less time to sleep, shopping on amazon, watching movies and reading novels, and more time exercising and working on your dream business.   Or, and better yet, consider that your day is Full.  The child is happy.  The home is cozy and our meals are lovely.  The paperwork is perfectly filed in the filing cabinet.  And we are happy.  Your job is done.  And soon you will find more time to pursue more of your heart's desires."

But we want it all.  Right Now.  Productivity.  Creativity.  Domesticity.  Fun.  Cozy clean homes. Gourmet Meals.  Toned bodies. Styled hair.  Kids showered with attention and time. Sleep.  Information and knowledge.  A nurtured spirit and mind.


I was going to write: you can't have it all and be happy with what you've got... except in my gut I don't believe that.  I will still make my lists, and nag and moan and hope to get to it soon...

And for now I will hold close this quote from this month's O magazine that beautifying your little corner of the world is a creative pursuit well worth taking... and that, I sure strive for each and every day!
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