Reflections on a lovely Christmas Eve

The past two weeks have been mostly about sitting around the house and making sure that our cargo can be carried safely as long as needed.

Thank goodness for the twinkle lights, and the beautiful tree and the lovely smelling wreaths around the house, which make sitting on the couch for long long periods of time tolerable. But more than anything, thank goodness for my mother (via phone and skype), Mr. Urban and our girl. They have been the most loyal and kind and interesting companions.

I can't tell you the number of times I have texted Mr. Urban with "One last list" of items to pick up or look into on the way home... they could be anything... gifts to be mailed out to family, long term and short term groceries and supplies, dinner, dessert, home gym equipment... An activity I secretly know he is not a big fan of, but not because he has ever let on.

And our girl... well, I am amazed. She has spent hours on end at home sitting or snuggling up next to me. We have read books. Played game after game of backgammon. Made a ton of crafts and sewed a ton of buttons (her favorite activity du jour). She has been a trooper in every respect and has nurtured me in every way. And to top it off she makes me laugh with all her comments and questions.

Making a stocking for Baby Sister

The other day I finally picked up a book that a dear friend had given me for my birthday and since I have had no interest for books or movies or magz the past few weeks, it was a lovely feeling to find a book I actually wanted to cuddle up to. On one of the first few chapters, a friend asks the narrator of the story "What do you expect from your year?" (the narrator is getting ready to move to another country for work).

Later that night, in the thick of insomnia, I contemplated that very question. And I thought about my experience with parenthood so far. I have loved being a mom, but to be honest I went into (and still go into it most days) with absolutely no idea what to expect. Well, maybe that is not true. I expected everything to be all rosy pink, calm uninterrupted joy all the time.

I had no idea what Colic was, let alone how to deal with it. I did not really understand what it meant when the parenting books I read during my pregnancy or friends warned of sleepless nights, growth spurts, extreme sensitivity to teething... I had no idea that human children are not born with an immune system and don't really build a strong one for years only until after they eagerly ingest every germ in sight (licking hands, toys, tables, park fixtures....).

I had no clue of temperaments and terrible words like "terrible two's" and "mighty threes and fours".... I never expected that My child would ever utter the word NO! to my reasonable requests. Worse, I had no idea how irritated hearing a simple honest NO! could make me. That is until I heard "I don't want to", and then I craved the simpler days of NO!

And my only experience with whining before becoming a mother was over good cocktails with girlfriends, each of us taking turn complaining of various silly and minor life irritants, and never in a pitch and over durations that could threaten to destroy my beloved ear drums.

And in face of all these surprises, I worried. And although I cherished every moment of joy we shared and experienced, I also panicked A LOT when the going was bumpy. In hindsight, everything came to pass. And our norm was always a sweet, eloquent and lovely little girl with keen interest and curiosity for everything she pursued and encountered.

So now I knew what to expect or at least what to ask for from the coming year. Grace to take all that comes with humor and confidence that all will be well.

May your home be warm and fragrant and filled with love and yummy treats on this Christmas Eve.

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